Grief, Caregiving & What I’ve Learned

Losing My Mum

In 2023, I lost my mum to pancreatic cancer. She wasn’t just my mother—she was my best friend, my greatest encourager, and one of the people who shaped the woman I am today. Losing her was the most profound loss I have ever experienced.

Grief changed me. It taught me that loss isn’t something we simply “get over.” We learn to carry it, and in doing so, we often become different people. It showed me that grief is not linear, that love continues long after someone is gone, and that healing doesn’t mean forgetting—it means learning how to live while carrying both love and loss.

As a psychotherapist, I had spent years supporting others through grief. Experiencing such a significant loss myself gave me a deeper appreciation of the courage it takes to keep moving forward when your world has been turned upside down. It reminded me that there is no right way to grieve, no timeline for healing, and no emotion that is too much to bring into the therapy room.

While I would never claim to know exactly what another person is going through, losing my mum has deepened my empathy for those living with bereavement, anticipatory grief, complicated family relationships, and the many invisible losses that life brings. It has strengthened my belief that people don’t need someone to fix their pain—they need someone willing to sit with them in it, without judgment or expectation.

My grief continues to shape me, not because it defines me, but because it has made me an even more compassionate therapist and an even more intentional human being. It reminds me every day why creating a space where people feel safe enough to bring their whole selves into therapy matters so much.

Caring for My Parents

In September 2022, my dad was diagnosed with end-stage kidney failure. At the same time, my mum was battling pancreatic cancer. Almost overnight, I became the full-time caregiver for both of my parents while continuing to build my career as a psychotherapist.

Those months were filled with hospital appointments, dialysis sessions, advocating for their care, managing medications, coordinating treatment, and trying to hold our family together while quietly carrying my own fear and grief. I wasn’t simply witnessing illness—I was living it every day alongside the two people I loved most.

Throughout their illnesses, there were times when I felt the healthcare system let both of my parents and our family down. Those experiences taught me how frightening it can be to feel unheard when the people you love are at their most vulnerable. They also reinforced the importance of compassion, advocacy, and seeing the person behind the diagnosis.

When my mum died in 2023, my role as my dad’s caregiver continued. Supporting him through dialysis and the realities of kidney failure has given me a profound understanding of caregiving, anticipatory grief, resilience, and the emotional toll of loving someone whose health is fragile.

These experiences have shaped not only who I am as a person but also the therapist I have become. I know that caregivers often put themselves last. I know what it feels like to be strong for everyone else while silently carrying your own pain. And I know how powerful it is to have someone who listens without trying to fix or rush your grief.

At Heart to Heart Therapy, I offer that space. Whether you are caring for a loved one, living with loss, or simply feeling overwhelmed by life’s responsibilities, you don’t have to carry it all on your own. Sometimes, the greatest act of healing is finally allowing someone to care for you.